Life | No. 4

Last night, as I was video calling my grandma for the first time in months, she kept mentioning how tall I was. The first time was a nice, unexpected compliment, since I’m really not that tall, and perhaps only look tall in virtual life. I’ll settle for that. However, she kept commenting on it every few minutes. That’s when it finally hit me that she might also have Alzheimer’s, like my other grandma did. Alzheimer’s robbed my mom of getting to really reconnect with her mother the last time we went back to China to visit before my grandma passed away. To see the same thing happening to my dad just reminded me how important it is to seize each moment we actually have with our families, rather than always telling ourselves we’ll have more time later. Family dinners are an important but dying tradition; no matter how busy we are, we still have to eat dinner, so why not spend that time together?

It’s hard not to think about the future and what it will be like, what we will be like. I actually think about what retirement will be like already, and I’m not even close to finishing college yet. Will I still live in the United States? Will I be a lawyer, like I’m intending to now? Will I still hate the smell of coconuts? Will I be one of those adventurous grandmas that takes their grandkids windsurfing (with their parents’ permission of course)? So many questions, but the most important one is will I still love God? To love God requires trusting and obeying His commandments, even when we don’t understand or when life just sucks. To love God requires knowing Him, a relationship.  But what I was seeing happening with my both of my grandmas was a gradual inability to remember people and ultimately recognize reality. All I know is, even if I forget everything and everyone else, I pray that I will never forget what Jesus did for me on that cross, that cross that changed everything. May we never lose that wonder and amazement when we first fell in love with God, the greatest and longest-lasting relationship of our lives.


Mercy, mercy, as endless as the sea. I’ll sing Your hallelujah for all eternity. May I never lose the wonder, oh, the wonder of Your mercy. May I sing Your hallelujah. Hallelujah, amen. [‘Mercy’ – Matt Redman]


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