I find myself with this almost obsessive need to be busy all the time, as if being busy would mean that I’m not lazy, or that my life is somehow more meaningful and worthwhile. In listing out all the different things I devote my life too, I finally separated them into “yes” and “no” categories to decide which things I would cut out during a month-long “sabbatical.” After this month-long break, I’ll decide which things I want to continue to cut out, and which things I might resume. As people of many passions, we have to learn to view our lives through a lens, a focus and mission that allows us to filter out the things that don’t fit into what we’re actually striving for in life, which is loving and pursuing God. God cares more about us just being with Him, abiding with Him, rather than our doing.
Everything we do flows out of intimacy with God. So what does that mean? I think the world has definitely changed what it means to be “intimate.” Intimacy with God, as I’m learning, means to me that I need to know what’s in His heart and strive for what’s in His heart, and in order to do that, I have to actually spend time with Him. And He went up on the mountain and called to Him those whom He desired, and they came to Him. And He appointed twelve (whom He also named apostles) so that they might be with Him and He might send them out to preach [Mark 3:13-14]. Before we do anything, even going after His commission to preach the gospel, we must come to Him and simply be with Him.
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ. [Philippians 3:8]