Life | No. 11

People told me sophomore year of college would be tough. I always laughed. I always thought I could overcome anything. That’s just pride though. We think we can do anything, be anything, if we just try hard enough. Sophomore year is one of those things where you think, “How hard can it really be?” before you get kicked in the face by life. I have no idea how sophomore year would’ve been without God in my life. I shudder to even consider the possibility. Continue reading “Life | No. 11”

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Happy Easter

Happy Easter! I just wanted to share a song that moved me to tears on Good Friday. ‘How Deep the Father’s Love For Us’ depicts the passion of Christ. It was not just other people’s sin that held him there, but also mine. He died for me.  Because my sin necessitated such a ransom payment. He saw me, a wretch, a deceiver, an adulterer, a robber, a murderer, but still wanted to pursue me and make me His greatest treasure. ‘If others think me a failure, they think the truth – but I am a failure who has found peace through the blood of Christ’s cross’ (We Would See Jesus, Roy Hession). Thank the Lord for giving all of us a gift we could not give ourselves, for saving us from something we can’t even control. That is the love of the Father.  Continue reading “Happy Easter”

The Cross

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At a conference I went to last weekend, the pastor illustrated our Christian walk through the above diagram. The first picture reflects how the greatness of the cross increases as we see our own sinfulness more and more over time, compared to God’s holiness. The bottom picture depicts a life where we begin to drift away from God, slowly justifying our own sinfulness as not being that bad, while also being unable to truly see how set apart and different God’s standard is; this is when the cross shrinks, when we don’t see the difference between holiness and sinfulness anymore, and we no longer see a need to be saved. May the weight and wonder of the cross grow in each of us.

 

Holy, there is no one like You. There is none beside You. Open up my eyes in wonder. Show me who You are and fill me with Your heart and lead me in Your love to those around me. [‘Build My Life’ – Housefires]

Jesus Wept.

I rationalize. A lot. I think I’m a unique individual whose experiences are just so different that no one can possibly understand. I make plans for every aspect of my life; I make schedules at the beginning of each quarter for every single day so I know what events/meetings I have to go to and what work I have to get done. I have a detailed plan for my four years in college so I know exactly what classes to take to be able to double major and minor and still graduate on time. I know I want to take a gap year to do missions before going to law school. I’m not really sure when it got this bad; I definitely didn’t plan like this in high school. I’ve gotten more and more obsessive about my future as I’ve gotten older. And I don’t like that.

‘God, You don’t understand. I have to take all these classes [so I can seem like I’m busy all the time]. I have to go to law school [or I won’t amount to anything]. I have to have my schedule planned out [because I can’t risk getting behind in life]. I have to plan this and do everything by myself [because I can only depend on myself].’ I make excuses about everything I do, refusing to allow God into this controlling nature I have. How can that be, if He is to be Lord of my life? Perhaps He isn’t just yet. Continue reading “Jesus Wept.”

Merry Christmas

Once a year, we celebrate Christmas. But Christmas is not something we celebrate just once a year, but every day. Easter is Jesus’ work brought into completion, but Christmas marks the beginning of God’s work. Christmas, Jesus’ birth, is God’s promise to us, a promise we rely on every single day. This gift, this promise He gave us reminds us that all of God’s promises are always true. The fallen world needed a Savior, it was pining for it, and God delivered us one. Let us never forget we already received the greatest gift of all – salvation.

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining, till He appeared and the soul felt it’s worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees. [‘O Holy Night’]

Hope

I know I shall die in hope. But that hope needs a foundation. [Jean Paul Sartre]

These words were written by Jean Paul Sartre, a famous atheist, right before his death. Even he acknowledges that hope must have some foundation, some basis of truth, for it to exist. However, we often, like him, put our hope in other things, things that we know will fail us. I placed my hope in my career, thinking that everything I’m doing now, all the sleepless nights, restless days, add up to something significant. I used to place hope in other people, thinking that if I just met one faithful, non-hypocritical Christian, I would believe in God. I placed my hope in my hope in the arts, thinking my accomplishments in this field would make me feel unique and special. But above all, I placed my hope in myself, thinking that I couldn’t rely on anyone else and that it was me that had gotten me through everything all these years, not anyone else. Continue reading “Hope”

Thanksgiving

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. [1 Thessalonians 5:18]

My pastor shared about why we give celebrate thanksgiving today, and shared a poem with us,

‘I am thankful for…

…for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.

…for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I am employed.

…for the teen-ager who is complaining about doing dishes, because he is at home and not on the streets.

…for the mess to clean up after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.

…for the lady behind me in church that sings off key, because it means that I can hear.

…for my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.’ [excerpted]

Continue reading “Thanksgiving”