Dear Younger Me

What would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time? What do you wish someone would’ve told you, if they really knew how you were feeling and what you were going through then?

Dear Younger Me,

You’re angsty, and you should acknowledge that. But more importantly, maybe slow down to ask yourself why. I know you must think you’re so on fire for God, ready to balance everything – church, dance, internships, and, oh yeah, classes. But you can’t do it all, and you can’t even balance what you end up doing. And you’re gonna freak out. Continue reading “Dear Younger Me”

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Life | No. 11

People told me sophomore year of college would be tough. I always laughed. I always thought I could overcome anything. That’s just pride though. We think we can do anything, be anything, if we just try hard enough. Sophomore year is one of those things where you think, “How hard can it really be?” before you get kicked in the face by life. I have no idea how sophomore year would’ve been without God in my life. I shudder to even consider the possibility. Continue reading “Life | No. 11”

Promises

What’s ironic is that those who don’t have the courage to take risks and those who do, experience the same amount of fear in life. The only difference is that those who don’t take chances worry about trivial things. If you’re going to have to overcome your fear and doubts anyway, you might as well make it count. [John C. Maxwell]

I heard this quote today during a message, and like many other moments in life, it was not a coincidence that it paired so perfectly with a song that’s been on my mind recently, ‘Your Promises’ by Elevation Worship. We only reduce God’s perfectly crafted message to us to a coincidence when we don’t take the time to reflect on our lives. That being said, I think His message to me now is to take a risk. Seek first His kingdom, worry less about all the other things. Seek first, and all these other things I no longer worry about will be added to me. Continue reading “Promises”

Musings From the Bus Bench | No. 1

What I failed to calculate is the cost of my fierce individuality: the loss of emotional resources that turned out to be critical for enjoying my achievements and successes. [Dr. Will Miller, Dr. Glenn Sparks]

In this day and age, it’s hard to remember what life was like before we were online all the time. What would I be doing before bed if there was no Netflix or YouTube? What would I be doing when I’m alone waiting in line? What would I do to show my friends all the awesome food I’m having or the awesome hike I went on or the awesome life I live? (Please note the sarcasm as actually a satire on what might actually be a half-truth about our thought processes.)

All these different needs and compulsions we experience now are purely self-made. We have no innate desire to do these things. They didn’t exist before the age of technology, and we were never longing for this. This is not the way we were meant to live. Being online should not be the norm; we should not be at a point where we’re only “on” and functioning properly if we’re on our phones or computers. Continue reading “Musings From the Bus Bench | No. 1”

The Heart’s Mind | No. 12

All I am Lord here before You
Reaching out for more
You’re the promise never failing
You are my reward,
Jesus, You are my reward

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I’ve lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I’ll say
You are worth it all

 

[‘Worth It All’ – Worship Central]

Higher

Christian life is a higher dimensional life.

I heard this expression today; it was one of those things you hear and wonder why you never thought about it that way before. Christ calls us to higher and different places we never dreamed or believed we would ever be at.

I’m still learning to count the cost. Obviously, a higher dimensional life sounds like something I should want, and now that I’ve gotten a taste of it, I can’t imagine going back to my old life of dulled emotions and fruitless endeavors. He expects us to suffer if we take His callings seriously. But there is hope and a reason for all our suffering.

He calls us into an abundant life. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly [John 10:10]. But with the life He promises us, not only is there more adventure, but more ups and downs as well; all the joys are so much greater, but there is also so much more intensity of pain as we begin to suffer for His sake and experience the same suffering He feels when we sin against Him. Let us all aspire to live in the higher dimension and not settle for less.

Life | No. 10

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. [James 1:19-20]

Yesterday, one of the sprinklers went off on my dorm floor, and the water ended up reaching my room. I didn’t think much of it at first when I heard, because my roommates told me our room’s floor wasn’t entirely soaked yet. My guitar, the one item I thought might get ruined, was untouched (honestly it was saved by the grace of God). We were still able to laugh about this whole situation back then. I just grabbed some essentials and left them in a friend’s room, in case we couldn’t go back to our room for the night.

Later in the day, we were told we actually needed to move out of our room completely because all the carpet and furniture needed to be replaced. After being assigned temporary rooms for the next 3-4 weeks, we packed up literally everything, as if this was finals week already and we were moving out for the summer. But we weren’t. We were only moving out because of a faulty sprinkler system.

Anger quickly flooded my heart. I kept asking myself why this was happening to us right in the middle of midterm season, why we had to move everything out (we all have a lot of stuff, and a fridge and filing cabinet that needed to be moved, so it was quite an ordeal). I just didn’t understand, so my natural default of anger just slipped out. On Friday night though, we went through James 1, and I could feel God trying to convict me over and over again through this experience that I am quick to anger, which does not produce righteousness. When I’m quick to anger, it’s because I’m entitled. It’s because I am not thinking things through. It’s because things are not going how I would want them to, if things were actually under my control. But life is never under my control.

It never ceases to amaze me how well the Bible understands our condition, our tendencies. God always also seems to speak to us in the right moments, reminding us of really how much we need to be saved.

 

Cause I need You Jesus to come to my rescue. Oh where else can I go. There is no other name by which I am saved. [‘Rescue’ – Desperation Band]