Missions. Finally.

‘When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.’ [Dietrich Bonhoeffer] 

As a Christian, our first and foremost thought must be a global vision – God’s commission for us to go and make disciples for all nations. ‘Go’ means we must never be passive and comfortable where we are, but rather, willing to uproot ourselves for the sake of the gospel.

I think God is calling me to a certain country, let’s call it A. A has been calling me for a while now, and I was disappointed when my parents told me that I couldn’t go. Especially in light of the fact that 90% of missionaries/ministers serve the already reached populations, whereas only 10% go to the unreached. They don’t even have the chance to decide for themselves if God is who He says He is. Even if they have a sense that they are longing for more, they may never know the Truth of who that something more is. All because we do not go to them.

Jesus Wept.

I rationalize. A lot. I think I’m a unique individual whose experiences are just so different that no one can possibly understand. I make plans for every aspect of my life; I make schedules at the beginning of each quarter for every single day so I know what events/meetings I have to go to and what work I have to get done. I have a detailed plan for my four years in college so I know exactly what classes to take to be able to double major and minor and still graduate on time. I know I want to take a gap year to do missions before going to law school. I’m not really sure when it got this bad; I definitely didn’t plan like this in high school. I’ve gotten more and more obsessive about my future as I’ve gotten older. And I don’t like that.

‘God, You don’t understand. I have to take all these classes [so I can seem like I’m busy all the time]. I have to go to law school [or I won’t amount to anything]. I have to have my schedule planned out [because I can’t risk getting behind in life]. I have to plan this and do everything by myself [because I can only depend on myself].’ I make excuses about everything I do, refusing to allow God into this controlling nature I have. How can that be, if He is to be Lord of my life? Perhaps He isn’t just yet.

Life | No. 8

I’m not very good at speaking truth to people. I found that out in 4th grade, when some of my friends and I thought it would be a good idea to tell our “friend” that she needed to change, since she was spreading lies between all of us. Even adults can’t handle the truth, I have no idea why we thought a child, our peer, could handle hearing something like that. Quite expectedly, she cried. And that was the end of my truth telling. I decided to take a more passive approach with friends, watching almost from the sidelines, giving suggestions, but never anything concrete.

That’s not enough for Christian life. Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted [Galatians 6:1-2]. We live together to catch each other when we stumble.

The Heart’s Mind | No. 10

I’ve been listening to worship music more and more recently. When walking to class, when doing work (even though I know lyrics can be a little distracting), before falling asleep. I think He created our capacity for music for a reason. Something familiar strikes in my soul when I listen to worship music. A song I’ve been listening to this week, and actually played today for worship at a church I serve at, is “What a Beautiful Name” by Hillsong Worship. Our world refuses to see Jesus for who He really is, and it continues to use His name to represent anything other than His pure and holy nature. His name is like no other, His is ‘beautiful,’ ‘wonderful,’ ‘powerful.’ May we not use it in vain.

‘You have no rival, You have no equal
Now and forever, Our God reigns
Yours is the Kingdom, Yours is the glory
Yours is the Name, above all names

What a powerful Name it is

What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus Christ my King

What a powerful Name it is
Nothing can stand against
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus.’

Pain

One of the hottest topics in Christianity is the problem of pain – how do we reconcile an all-powerful and all-loving God with the reality of pain and suffering in the world that feels a little more real to us? I don’t have a satisfying answer. As I keep living, the more cruelty I see in the world, and the more unsurprised I am about what goes on. My dad even jokes that my brothers and I shouldn’t have any kids of our own, so that they won’t have to experience the pains of the world. Sometimes, I get that, but then these potential souls aren’t just missing out on the little highs of life, but on eternity. Pain does not endure when we live for God.

Despite the paradox, pain and God do go together. In our pain, when we see the consequences of our own sinful ways and fallen world, we can also see God’s glory shining through all these cracks in our lives. The pain was never  a part of His plan for us – He is a caring Father who wanted to provide for us in the Garden of Eden, but we chose ourselves over Him. Without consequences or discipline, we won’t learn, and thus the plans changed and we were no longer living in the Garden with God. But He never left us; He was merely a Father disciplining His children, teaching them as He saw fit.  Because He loved us so much, He gave us a solution to our problem, and sent Jesus to die so that we could be with Him forever. Pain is only a detour we had to take to reach God, because of our own free will.

 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. [Revelation 21:4]

The Heart’s Mind | No. 9

The song of my heart lately. I find myself just quietly singing in everything I do, ‘Oh your grace so free, washes over me.’ May this song bless all of you guys like it did me.

Released from my chains I’m a prisoner no more
My shame was a ransom he faithfully bore
He cancelled my debt and he called me his friend
When death was arrested and my life began

Our savior displayed on a criminal’s cross
Darkness rejoiced as though heaven had lost
But then Jesus arose with our freedom in hand
That’s when death was arrested and my life began 
That’s when death was arrested and my life began 

Oh your grace so free
Washes over me 
You have made me new
Now life begins with you
It’s your endless love
Pouring down on us
You have made us new
Now life begins with you.

[‘Death Was Arrested’ – North Point]

Life | No. 7

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, not is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. [John 13:14-16]

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to volunteer at a carnival for the homeless, and my friends and I signed up to be feet washers, since the opportunity to do such a humbling task rarely, if ever, comes up. The past two weeks have been a period of trivial deliberation, as I was unsure if I would go to this event or to my mandatory internship training, as I believed I would get fired if I didn’t go. Ultimately, I still chose this event anyway, at the expense of my professional character and potential career, because I cannot pass up such opportunities for personal growth. Ultimately, the things of this world are not as important as we make them out to be.

Human Nature | Journey Through Romans

Humans are not complex creatures. Humans are so utterly simple. Humans are unrighteous. Humans are cursed with human nature.

As part of an outreach event for my fellowship this week, we surveyed people about the troubling and disruptive question of “What do you think abut human nature?” There were 4 options for them to choose from on a cork board: ‘mostly good,’ ‘mostly bad,’ ‘broken,’ and ‘neutral.’ I was not surprised to see many had answered that we are mostly good, but I was shocked to see many had also said that we are broken.

Just Be.

I find myself with this almost obsessive need to be busy all the time, as if being busy would mean that I’m not lazy, or that my life is somehow more meaningful and worthwhile. In listing out all the different things I devote my life too, I finally separated them into “yes” and “no” categories to decide which things I would cut out during a month-long “sabbatical.” After this month-long break, I’ll decide which things I want to continue to cut out, and which things I might resume. As people of many passions, we have to learn to view our lives through a lens, a focus and mission that allows us to filter out the things that don’t fit into what we’re actually striving for in life, which is loving and pursuing God. God cares more about us just being with Him, abiding with Him, rather than our doing.

Everything we do flows out of intimacy with God. So what does that mean? I think the world has definitely changed what it means to be “intimate.” Intimacy with God, as I’m learning, means to me that I need to know what’s in His heart and strive for what’s in His heart, and in order to do that, I have to actually spend time with Him. And He went up on the mountain and called to Him those whom He desired, and they came to Him. And He appointed twelve (whom He also named apostles) so that they might be with Him and He might send them out to preach [Mark 3:13-14]. Before we do anything, even going after His commission to preach the gospel, we must come to Him and simply be with Him.

Just be.

 

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ. [Philippians 3:8]

The Heart’s Mind | No. 8

My pastor shared about the story of Jesus feeding the 5000 today. Rather than running away from the daunting task of what to do for these 5000, He lifted His eyes up (John 6:5) and saw the crowd. He saw their needs, both physical and spiritual, and fulfilled them. Sometimes we want to just ignore the problems around us, the seemingly impossible tasks ahead of us, but when we give what little we have and just trust God, He does amazing things.

 

My foes are many, they rise against me. But I will hold my ground. I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm. My help is on the way, my help is on the way. Oh, my God, He will not delay, my refuge and strength always. I will not fear, His promise is true. My God will come through always, always. I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord. [‘Always’ – Kristian Stanfill]